the Air Vent

Because the world needs another opinion

UN: On the sunny side of the street

Posted by Jeff Id on September 27, 2010

Ah well, it looks like the UN isn’t going to appoint an ambassador to outer space.  Apparently several newspapers got the story wrong.

Sorry for that guys, I wonder what made the telegraph think they knew what the UN was going to do?   hmm.


Still warm from the presses, the UN Office for Outer Space Affairs (Unoosa) has decided to expand its role in our galaxy.

Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist has been given the role of first contact for any aliens visiting Earth.  Yes that’s right, the UN, seeing all countries and cultures in the world are equal, and having such deep pockets rife with US dollars, has appointed a Malaysian astrophysicist as Earths primary contact person.  After all, who better to represent Earth than an elite woman from an impoverished country with a repressive and immoral government.

Not that Mazlan Othman is unqualified, currently her work has revolved around such important issues as what Muslims should eat in space, and which way they should face while praying in orbit, serious concerns of the day.  Well it would be important if Muslim governments weren’t so generally repressive that they had functional space agencies. Now I’m not implying that Unoosa is not an important organization (bull), but really, is this where you would invest your hard earned dollars?  — you just did…..

Someone call Obama and tell him a great way to save cost would be to sanction the UN for assigning themselves ever stupider jobs.  And yes this does mean stupider is now officially a word.

They are actually discussing protocols and methods of how to handle the imagined situation.  Well thank God Allah that they have chosen genius representatives like this for first contact, I’ll sleep better knowing that humanity has put its best foot forward.  My guess is that the politicians from both species will not need universal translators to communicate, and will very likely understand the meaning of each others political ‘culture’ even if one of them is bacterial in nature.

13 Responses to “UN: On the sunny side of the street”

  1. Don Keiller said

    Is it April 1st?


    Oh dear it’s worse than we thought!

  2. The red shirt that comes with that job would make me more than a little nervous.

  3. Amabo said


  4. Amabo said

    Argh! Tag fail. I have to learn to keep my finger off the mousepad.

  5. Chuckles said

    Perhaps someone could send her a copy of Damon Knight’s ‘To Serve Man’?

  6. Andrew said

    Apparently the UN is unfamiliar with the Fermi paradox:

    Look people, clearly if there even are “little green men”, our chances of ever contacting them are negligible. Granted the “Chopra Axiom” means anything is possible, but just like the probability of all your electrons suddenly deciding to jump to the moon, it’s so small that you really shouldn’t bother taking it seriously.

  7. benpal said

    I suppose they will announce the (good) news also in space (maybe sending up billboards), so that aliens arriving can call the lady up or locate the exact position of her office with their GPS.

  8. co2fan said

    Hi Jeff

    Speaking of outer space, “Die Klimazwiebel” guys have a survey of skeptics in progress.
    Hans von Storch could have used a native speaker to help him edit the questions, but it is way out there even besides that.
    I think he has no clue how skeptics like you (and me) got started, tat is engineers how saw how unscientific the overall CAGW concept was. Leaps of faith and computer models whic are orders of magnitude too simplistic to replicate a complex, chaotic system.
    Fun to go through the survey, though.
    Read the comments before taking the survey to understand the questions.

  9. co2fan said

    “tat is engineers how saw ”

    should be
    that is, engineers who saw…

  10. max said

    All those billions of dollars spent over the decades by NASA and Jeff with this one post has completely undercut the major goal of NASA, to make Muslims feel better about themselves. Is this treason?

  11. Brian H said

    Which is stupider, the UN or Obama? Dim minds think alike …

  12. Brian H said

    Edit note:
    You dropped an “e”, Jeff;
    “Not that Mazlan Othman is unqualified” should read “Note that Mazlan Othman is unqualified”, of course.


  13. Paul in Sweden said

    The premature announcement of the UN Office for Outer Space Affairs(UNOOSA)ambassadorship position was both a political power play and a classic demonstration of United Nations incompetence.

    While I am unaware of any formal Russian protest, it is clear that the UNOOSA ambassadorship should rightful have been given to Russian MP Andre Lebedev who has already had experience in sensitive interstellar affairs at the highest levels of government.

    “Russian MP requests alien inquiry
    Richard Galpin
    BBC News, Moscow

    A Russian MP has asked President Dmitry Medvedev to investigate claims by a regional president that he has met aliens on board a spaceship.

    Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the leader of the southern region of Kalmykia, made his claim in a television interview.

    MP Andre Lebedev is not just asking whether Mr Ilyumzhinov is fit to govern.

    He is also concerned that, if he was abducted, he may have revealed details about his job and state secrets.

    The MP has written a letter to Mr Medvedev raising a list of his concerns.”

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