the Air Vent

Because the world needs another opinion

Contest — Ten Ways to Celebrate Earth Day

Posted by Jeff Id on April 22, 2012

Earth day is here again.   Twice as many penguins as we thought, polar bear population is up, both Arctic and global sea ice extents are normal, what should we do to celebrate?

Here are a few ideas I had:

  • Fly penguins to the north pole to feed the polar bears.
  • Fly polar bears south to give them a new habitat.
  • Eat a polar bear steak.
  • Shoot a can of freon.
  • Run the heat and air conditioning at the same time.
  • Add sulfur to your diesel fuel.
  • Ship Al Gore to the Antarctic on a 747, by way of the North pole.
  • Drive fast to the store in low gear.
  • Feed beans to Rosie O’Donnell.
  • Ignore it.

Who has the best idea?!

32 Responses to “Contest — Ten Ways to Celebrate Earth Day”

  1. Build a mangonel and fire frozen oven-ready turkeys at operational wind turbine blades.

  2. omanuel said

    Read the Naked Ape* [ ] and figure out for yourself why this intelligent, creative, aggressive and manipulative creature cannot admit that a yet Higher Power controls his destiny.

    I was 8-10 years old when naked apes saw the power of “nuclear fires” consuming Hiroshima and felt compelled by fear and the instinct of survival to act quickly to:

    1. Unite Nations in Oct 1945 to avoid nuclear wars
    2. Change Sun’s composition from Fe to H in 1946
    3. Deceive the public about the solar “nuclear fires”


    – Oliver K. Manuel

    *Naked Apes now live on the third ball of dirt orbiting a pulsar
    that remains of the supernova that made our elements and
    now sustains life on Earth. This most intelligent,creative,
    aggressive and manipulative creature cannot accept
    that a yet Higher Power controls his destiny.

  3. This whole Earth Day thing drives me nuts every year. Everyone knows the motive, yet the tumor continues to grow. Earth is a nice place, lets not screw it up by voluntarily making ourselves miserable. Every observation seems to indicate that the environment is a lot more stable than it is given credit for.

  4. kim said

    Dang, I was gonna contribute grumpy’s comment #1 after finding it at Wot’s Up, but he’s too fast with his catapulting. Oh, the humanity.


    All good suggestions, Jeff. But I fear they pale in comparison to the Canadian who won the Alpha Proxima Day contest this year. His celebration is, I fear, unbeatable. See for yourself:

  6. Me said

    What kind of Freon, R12 or R134A?

  7. Andrew Russell said

    I went for a 140 mile drive on San Diego Rolling British Car Day with my hydrocarbon-spewing, oil leaking, old Mini and over 200 other British car owners for no other reason than to create CO2 and burn fossil fuel. The fact that we had a great time and got to see a lot of cool old cars was completely irrelevant, of course.

  8. AndyL said

    I suggest ignore it in compete ignorance that the day even exists. That’s what people in the UK are doing. When is Earth day (seriously)?

  9. M Simon said

    Watch this video:

  10. Pascvaks said

    I guess I missed something, I have no idea what you folks are talking about. I was one of the select few who attended the First ‘E-Day’ in Philly, PA. In college at the time. The day was beautiful. A real Spring, cut class, lie in the grass, catch some z’s, beautiful day. We went down to the Art Museum and crashed in the grass on the side by the river (you remember, the building Rockey ran up the steps and jumped up and down;-). I think we played a little frizbie, too. Haven’t been to one since. I guess, as always, everything’s changed. What you’re talking about doesn’t sound very good or memorable or similiar at all; sounds like some real flakes politicized everything. Oh for the Good Ol’ Days when big causes, like anti-war rallies, political demonstrations, earth days, etc., were all just a good excuse to cut-classes when spring fever set in, to clebrate life and nature, and have a good time before we were drafted. Yhep! The first Earth Day really meant something special. It doesn’t sound like anything at all anymore.

    • chuckr said

      I don’t think you’re giving today’s youth enough credit. I’m sure they still look for excuses to cut classes and meet girls and flakes have always politicized everything.

  11. I vote we all follow the lead of McMurdo in Antarctica.

    “The station’s generators currently burn six million gallons of fuel to keep the dormitories warm, labs well-lit and winterized airplanes flying across the massive continent.”

    Then, we will blame any warming on CO2 … win win!

  12. dfbaskwill said

    A nice roaring fire in the fireplace (monitored by computer camera for safety) and then head outside because its waaaaay too hot inside. Enjoy the seasonable temps. of good ole Gaia.

  13. iceman said

    Pascvaks, got you on this one, First earth day. Sr. year high school, Southern Cal. We were supposed to pick up trash on the beach. My friends and I just grabbed our surfboards and hit the waves. We were stoked for this “earth day stuff”.

  14. David S said

    Forgot it was even happening, so I drove round in our relatively economical family saloon rather than the 4.8 litre gas guzzler. Delighted to see Joe Romm gnashing his teeth over President Obama’s decision not to refer to climate change in his Earth Day speech, though.

  15. John Norris said


    “Help Earth Day Network grow the Earth’s canopy by planting a billion trees worldwide.”

    So I’ll delay pulling up that 4″ Oak tree like weed that is growing on my side hill and see if it becomes a real tree.

  16. Greg F said

    Didn’t even realize it was tree hugger day till late afternoon. Stayed up late last night watching a show on the formation of the Great Lakes (they are only 10,000 years old) followed by a show on the super volcano lurking in Yellowstone National Park. Nature worship goes back many millennium, nothing new there. It is humbling to realize what an insignificant powerless speck we are in the universe. If only the earth worshipers would realize our fragile little insignificant lives are at the mercy of natural forces orders of magnitude larger than anything humanity could ever hope to control. Perhaps then we could talk about making life better for our short time on this insignificant rock. Put me down for ignoring people who find self worth in saving the planet that will eventually wipe humanity off the face of the earth.

  17. Maurice@TheMount said

    Get a 200 ton block of dry ice…put it outside, and let it evaporate. It will add plenty of plant food (CO2) to the atmosphere, all the trees and plants will love it.

  18. Mark T said

    Drink beer, fart.


  19. Anteros said

    Er, set fire to stuff?

  20. page488 said

    Gee whiz – I forgot all about Earth Day. I guess that was as good a way as any to celebrate it!!

  21. timetochooseagain said

    Forgot Earth Day? That’s nothing, I forgot the internet existed for several months. Well, no not really.
    But it’s interesting, I didn’t even realise it was “Earth Day” when it was until I noticed that the “Earth Day” dishes became available to cook again in Tiny Chef.
    What? Just because I have school to do and forget you guys doesn’t mean I can forget my iPod games. 😉 I made some of the cheesy Earth Day cakes, I guess that counts as “celebrating” but really, I just did it for the recipe stars.

    BTW, yes, I know you can sink money into those apps. But I didn’t. Because I’m not stupid. The cakes were for in game money, only the tiny imaginary people paid for them. And I guess you could say I got to live out the green dream: control the eating habits of thousands of mere mortals and make them all celebrate Earth day, while hypocritically making huge “profits” (of in game, fake money, but still). I have to say, playing God IS fun. 😉

  22. Beth Cooper said

    Char grilled BBQ…oh, and disseminate widely some of those Climategate emails.

  23. Hotel Gdańsk…

    […]Contest — Ten Ways to Celebrate Earth Day « the Air Vent[…]…

  24. GHowe said

    We had a great bbq dinner of smelt from a freshwater delta down the road a piece, then the kids wrote their names with lighter fluid on the new concrete driveway with heat pads underneath to melt the snow and slush.

  25. omanuel said

    Missed Earth Day 2012, the excitement* of May Day 2012, but listened to a concert and contemplated the two abrupt changes** in science and society triggered by the vaporization of Hiroshima on 6 Aug 1945.

    1. Abrupt loss of integrity in government science.

    2. Abrupt loss of civilian control over government.

    Prior to 6 Aug 1945, artists, musicians, poets, saints and scientists celebrated and openly communicated information on the great benevolent reality that surrounds and sustains life.

    After 6 Aug 1945 the idea of a benevolent reality vanished from the scientific community. World leaders funded and used scientific research as a tool of Godless, fear-mongering to control the masses.

    Oliver K. Manuel


    *May Day 2012: Worldwide rallies, protests, violence and vandalism

    **May Day 2012: Open letter to world leaders, editors and publishers of information for the public and the scientific community

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