Real Progress

Breaking: With the success of California’s program to ban natural gas use in their state, Gavin Newsom is on to the root of the problem.

In a statement made early next week, this is what he has to say:

We are a progressive state, we are leaders here. We don’t follow others, they follow us. Careful study at UCLA university has revealed that the root cause of 90% of global warming is the invention of the wheel. Wheel based transportation not only consumes fossil fuel, but the infrastructure to maintain it is absolutely devastating to GAIA.

My leadership is what this planet needs to be friends with us again. Our accomplishments to heal our relationship with the planet include:

Banning gas lawnmowers and lawn tractors

Banning incandescent light bulbs

Closing powerplants

Eliminating plastics which emit volatile organics

Banning gas cars and trucks

Recently we worked together to ban ALL natural gas home heat

Soon we will add to our list of progressive accomplishments, the elimination of the greatest culprit of all, the wheel.